I want him more than he wants me, and it hurts to know it. Maybe this is what love becomes for a guy. Maybe this roaring in my heart is supposed to dull to a purr, but it doesn't want to. When he pulls away from me it breaks me heart a little. When he asks me to get off his lap after he's been on the computer all day and i'm missing him. Or when he says we should get some sleep when I kiss him goodnight. The way he moves my arm off of him and moves away from me in bed, every time he turns his back to me it breaks my heart a little more.
And still he does sweet things for me, still he says he loves without being prompted, still he wants me now and then and misses me when I'm gone for any length of time. But it doesn't feel the same.
He can keep his hands off of me, he doesn't love me more than once in a night, he doesn't tremble for me, or look at me quite the way he did.
My expectations are high, my desires strong, but how can that be a flaw?
M
1 comment:
I love you Mousie and i know that's no replacement or real suppliment for the loving and tenderness that you need from him. It's not a high expectation my dearest friend. I cried a little after I read this post. I'm sorry he is that way to you. *hugs tightly* you are a wonderful girl and you deserve every last glimmer of tenderness and affection. don't expect less. and the dull purring is an agony. i wish there was something i could do. i guess the only thing i can do is kiss and hug ya and tell you how amazing you are and how you deserve the very best. regardless how you feel inside. poor mousie, my heart breaks for you.
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