Undeserving

When I am thinking darkly I give myself a reason to feel bad. If I've had a bad day, or someone has been unkind to me, or I have not been especially understanding. I become overly sensitive and snappy, I am cruel to those who deserve it least. I make what ever wrongs the day has left me stinging from my fault so I can loathe myself rather than feeling crushed and helpless. If someone hurts me I hurt them back doubly so I become the cruel one. I make myself all the more undeserving of what I have.