I'm not the studious type. I get good grades, I freak out if I don't, and I try to do the best I possibly can, I just really don't like it. The whole classroom environment, tests, deadlines, assignments, lessons, remembering the right facts, I just really don't enjoy it. The first semester of college courses I took had me so stressed and agitated that I cried till I could barely breathe and stayed up late into the night til my eyes wouldn't focus several times. I said I wouldn't do it again, but here I am. I don't hate this like I did that, these classes are a little more interesting. But I'm still not thriving in them, I still don't enjoy it. One class bothers me more than the other, I don't grasp the material yet, the professor and his assistant don't communicate with the students, and I don't really find the subject matter that interesting. If I hadn't had to I wouldn't have taken classes this semester, but I did what was asked of me. And I'll probably do it again next semester if it's asked of me. But I don't want to go through college, even if I think a career path that would require college would interest me I don't think it's worth it to me personally. People tell me how I will fail in life and not make any money and be a loser if I don't go to college, but that's really not the truth. Sure maybe if I wanted the kind of job that would benefit from that, if I had a dream of a driven career, then that would be the thing to do. But don't want that, I want to do lots of different things, I want to start something all my own and make my life something unique. That might sound ridiculous to some, but it's not that I don't think a college education is valuable it's just that I don't think I would benefit from it, at least not right now.
But I have to go study now, so more later.
M
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