Saturday, October 27, 2007

Birth

Tomorrow (today) is my birthday. I'm not counting myself as twenty-one yet because I was born at seven in the morning.
Here's what I plan for my birthday. Get up around ten, take my dogs for a long walk, even if it is raining. I'm thinking of going into the graveyard up the road, incredible with my love of them that I haven't done so before. Come back home and take a long shower, dress up for the day and start on my cake. I will bake the cake and frost it, then go pick up Shadow from work. She will decorate the cake since she has more flair for such things. We'll go get RL and head out to Umstead Park, meeting my father and stepsister there. The lot of us will hang out and have cake. I will, I imagine, be given presents. After these festivies have finished we will go to the nice Japanese resturant near my house and I will devour my weight in sashimi and sushi. Merriment will be had, I may have a drink, if they have sake or something else appealing, I may chose not to. If I don't have to work until noon the next day then RL will stay over and keep me up all night. Even if she does I will take my leave of the group in the evening and talk to my love for a while before the day is done. I will bask in the love I have, and revel in the day.
M.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Belief

I have been asked a few times what I believe, and have never had the chance to answer. So here goes. If this makes little sense then so be it.
I believe in chance and intention. That our wishes and fears have more hold in our lives than most see, but chance takes the rest. Intention will bring you your dreams, but chance may strip them and more from you or give you more than you dreamed. My intention have brought me much, as has chance. I believe, as I have since I was young, that there is something in the elements. Life is the only word that seems close, magic is a more common one. I do believe in magic, in some much as it can be applied to what cannot yet be explained. I don't believe in magical beasts, as much as I have tried over time. Dragons, elves, werewolves and the like do not dwell amongst us. As much as I have wished it. I have a concept of personality to things I do not really believe to be sentient. Like rain, the moon, trees, wind, and fire. I don't exactly believe in souls in the usual religious sense, but I believe the energy of a person exists after they die, since energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only passed from form to form. Whether that energy exists strictly in the tissue of their bodies or in a more ghostly form depends on my mood on a given day. I have seen and heard ghosts before, so I have a hard time completely laughing them off. I don't believe in rebirth, I don't believe the world is particularly just or unjust. I don't believe in good and evil, there is cruelty and kindness in the world but nothing and no one is all good or all bad.
I should be sleeping now, so I will cut this off. If I think of more I wish to say I will post an addendum to the subject.
M.