A Day Out of My Life.

Last night I spent the night at a friend's house, woke with my back hurting again about as badly as before. I went to breakfast with my host and called Shadow to have her pick up my last pay stub for our lease application on her way out to meet me in our future home city. J and I had a theogical discussion about the devil, the former angel Lucifer, weather the other names he's called are actually the names of seperate demons and the apearence of the devil himself. We agreed that to wasn't a bright red goatman with a pointy tail, and I suggested that his shapeshirting reputation might mean that he became what ever his observer feared most. She pointed out the suduciveness of the devil and we agreed that he might become what ever his observer desired when using the more incubbus like traits of his shapeshifting.
I teased her, "I wish the devil would come so that her could take the form of GG." I know her so well.
Quite the blasphemous conversation, but we're both atheists anyways so our ticket to hell is pre-punched.
I went to meet Shadow and her hubby after I brought J home and I put in my rental application and deposits and fees and confirmed the apartment and date that I will start to move in. Now we just have to wait for our background and credit checks to go through. I'm looking forward to this coming summer. I came home to pack and take care of my critters (which I am currently running behind on as I write this) and found that my toys had come in the mail today. I took a shower to break them in, another thing I'm looking forward to about being by myself for a bit is uninterupted playtime.
My ex came home and fussed at me about not telling him I was going to be gone all night, which I had said righ before I left. And made some awkward comment about being glad I was fine. And when I told him about the apartment he made a comment about how he shouldn't get an apartment there too because the idea was to give me space.
Ok, I never said anything as vague as misleading as to ask for time apart or space, he has decided that when I asked to break up with him I just needed to live apart for a while. Does he not see the look on my face when he tries to touch me? Does he not understand that I did not break up with him on some whim? It seems I have to draw the line on his face for him to be able to see it. I'm talking to him when he comes home again. He has to be plainly told this is not a break, I don't want to have his babies, I'm not the love of his life, and I'm not coming back to him.
The fact of his current reaction has killed all of my attraction to him. He's acting like a dumb animal.
I that sounds harsh, but it's true.
M.

The Adventures of Shadow and Mouse. (Not all that exciting)

On friday night Shadow, my bestest friend, and I determined to have an adventure. Go somewhere and maybe even socialize with some people we didn't know. So we found Shadow a pretty white halter shirt with a kerchief hem to wear with her dark skirt and striped leggings. We returned to my house to rumage through my full closet and dresser and Shadow insisted I wear an insanely sexy tight black top with open sides that had been hiding in my drawer with my favorite pair of jeans and a red shirt to keep me from freezing to death just walking to the car. We departed for downtown of my city, Durham, at about ten thirty I believe. The first place we went was a lesbian club that was not even open, not sure if it was too early or what but we made our way to the other place we had been trying to get to for a while. This place was a mix club and they were just opening as we pulled up, Shadow asked the fellow opening up how the night was looking and he informed us that the club would be populated on this evening by gay black guys and only two of the four floors would be open. Nothing there for us. So we asked him where else we might go and he suggested a place in the next city, Raleigh, where I was born. We called and got directions and got there, only nearly getting lost on the way. The place was a gay and lesbian club and was fairly dead when we got there so we explored and waited around for a while. Shadow talked to the bartender and somehow ended up getting us two free virgin drinks and also finding out it was likely to be mostly gay guys all evening here as well. We saw maybe four ladies besides ourselves in the whole place, not including the drag performer who showed up and hung out after we had been there for a while. I was distract texting a certain hottie while I finished my pineapple-strawberry and who knows what else drink. After we had sat around for a bit deciding if we wanted to stay any longer we bailed and saw another gay and lesbian club down the block. On the walk down we were accosted by a worker for a testing tent set up in a parking lot between the two, for a vial of your blood they would give you a pass to get into one of the clubs free. We decided to go for it. They were testing for HIV and syphilis and I figure, better to know weather you are healthy or not than to assume you are and find out down the line you're not. So Shadow and I filled out forms and signed waivers and sat down to have our blood drawn. The last time I was in a needles and blood setting I was getting stitches and I started having a panic attack in the middle of it. So I was a bit nervous. The woman I sat before had bleach blonde hair and a typical southern demeanor of "Shug" and "Hun". I had to remove my long sleeve shirt and fight the shivers. First she tried my right arm, probing the needle about to seek a vein, no luck. When she pulled the needle out I didn't even bleed. She moved to my left arm and exclaimed that that was where all my veins were. She had neglected to ask if i was a righty or a lefty. I looked away as she jabbed me again and sought a vein. After a moment she pulled the needle and informed me it wasn't meant for me to have my blood drawn, my vein had blown. She offered to try again with a different vein and I declined deciding my regular doctor had not seen me in too long anyways. She threw away the half vial of blood and gave me a pass for the club anyway. Shadow told me the man who had drawn her blood, who had been a very sweet seeming fellow, said that the woman I had been placed with was not the best one for me to have gone to. Too little too late. We went into the next club and found it to be more crowded but prossessing no more ladies than the last. It was mostly hispanic guys and the few chicks we saw seemed to be together. The music wasn't to our liking and it was generally a bust. After a few laps around the place we had to go back out and stand in line for twice as long as we were in the place to get our coats and IDs. We were informed by a gentleman in front of us in line that the place we had come from before was full of stuck up people, which I had been clued in on from a nasty look the few chicks there had given Shadow and I as we came in. I had had to supress my urge to defend my little sis from the catty comment I was sure was whispered as one leaned in the group and laughed. On the way back towards my car we saw snakes in the window of a store that was still open and were drawn inside like magpies after coins. Two huge tanks containing six boas sat on the counters of what turned out to be a sex shop. Unfortunately for us it was a place catering to gay males. Though they did have some very pretty Phallix glass dildos. I heart dichronic glass. We wandered about for a little while and Shadow ended up having to drag me out when the clerk offered to knock fifty bucks off the shiniest dichronic dildo that was already less than I could find it for online. Saving money is hard sometimes...
We got back o the car and I tried to backtrack to where I had come from. We were pretty much lost and Shadow called her hubby to try to get him to give us directions to her house but he was too tired to go get his map so we ended up staying lost for a while till I found somewhere familiar in the city I visit once in a while and moved away from before I reached driving age. I tried to follow the familiar road and Shadow fell asleep for long enough for me to get lost again. After she woke up again and freaked out and settled down again I found my map and my location on it and got her back home, slipping into my house and waking my ex because I was too tired to be that quiet at three thirty in the morning. That after leaving the clubs at half past midnight. I had fun, for all that I didn't find any hot chicks to flirt with or hang out in one place for too long, the whole evening was plenty of entertainment for me.
Not the best adventures ever, but I take what I get.
I can turn anything into a story, even if no else will care to read it.
M.

Light and flesh.

I've been perusing nudes on DeviantART, both drawn and photographed. Something about the way light falls over skin and muscles knit together underneath it is absolutely hypnotizing, especially under the right light from the right angle. I would love to be some artists model, in what ever medium. Photo, paint, clay. I've been drawn before and I would enjoy posing again, to be part of an artists process is a beautiful thing. People are amazing.
M.