Last night I spent the night at a friend's house, woke with my back hurting again about as badly as before. I went to breakfast with my host and called Shadow to have her pick up my last pay stub for our lease application on her way out to meet me in our future home city. J and I had a theogical discussion about the devil, the former angel Lucifer, weather the other names he's called are actually the names of seperate demons and the apearence of the devil himself. We agreed that to wasn't a bright red goatman with a pointy tail, and I suggested that his shapeshirting reputation might mean that he became what ever his observer feared most. She pointed out the suduciveness of the devil and we agreed that he might become what ever his observer desired when using the more incubbus like traits of his shapeshifting.
I teased her, "I wish the devil would come so that her could take the form of GG." I know her so well.
Quite the blasphemous conversation, but we're both atheists anyways so our ticket to hell is pre-punched.
I went to meet Shadow and her hubby after I brought J home and I put in my rental application and deposits and fees and confirmed the apartment and date that I will start to move in. Now we just have to wait for our background and credit checks to go through. I'm looking forward to this coming summer. I came home to pack and take care of my critters (which I am currently running behind on as I write this) and found that my toys had come in the mail today. I took a shower to break them in, another thing I'm looking forward to about being by myself for a bit is uninterupted playtime.
My ex came home and fussed at me about not telling him I was going to be gone all night, which I had said righ before I left. And made some awkward comment about being glad I was fine. And when I told him about the apartment he made a comment about how he shouldn't get an apartment there too because the idea was to give me space.
Ok, I never said anything as vague as misleading as to ask for time apart or space, he has decided that when I asked to break up with him I just needed to live apart for a while. Does he not see the look on my face when he tries to touch me? Does he not understand that I did not break up with him on some whim? It seems I have to draw the line on his face for him to be able to see it. I'm talking to him when he comes home again. He has to be plainly told this is not a break, I don't want to have his babies, I'm not the love of his life, and I'm not coming back to him.
The fact of his current reaction has killed all of my attraction to him. He's acting like a dumb animal.
I that sounds harsh, but it's true.
M.
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